The Prison of Unforgiveness: Setting Yourself Free Through Grace
There’s a quote that I have heard numerous times, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” At first glance, it may sound extreme but spiritually and emotionally, it’s deeply true.
As a Christian, forgiveness isn’t just a suggestion—it’s a command, modeled by Jesus Himself. On the cross, in His moment of greatest suffering, He cried out, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34). He didn’t wait for an apology. He didn’t withhold grace. He gave it freely.
But what happens when we don’t?
When we withhold forgiveness, we become the ones in bondage. The person who hurt us may move on, unaware or unbothered, but we carry the weight. We rehearse the wound. We relive the offense. Our hearts, designed to flow with the love and peace of God, become tight, cold, and defensive. We become prisoners—locked behind bars built by our own pain.
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the wrong. It doesn’t say the pain didn’t matter. It says you matter more than the pain. It says that your freedom is too valuable to trade for bitterness.
Jesus told us in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” That’s a heavy truth. God links our forgiveness to our willingness to forgive.
Why? Because forgiveness isn’t just a gift we give others, it’s a gift we give ourselves. It’s how we reflect Christ. It’s how we heal.
When we forgive, we open the door to freedom. We stop dragging the weight of the past into our present. We trust God to be the judge and in that surrender, we find peace.
If you’re struggling with unforgiveness today, know this: God doesn’t ask you to do it alone. He is your strength. Start by being honest with God about your pain. Pray for the grace to forgive, even if your feelings haven’t caught up yet.
Forgiveness is a process but every step toward it is a step toward freedom. Let today be the day you unlock the door. Set yourself free.
